My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
