Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
