did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
