i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He passed out mid-signature
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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