After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
