I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
