she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't deserve a penis
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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