it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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