idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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