Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
