I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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