I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
