I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
