k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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