The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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