they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
