super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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