Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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