I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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