im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
