I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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