So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize