I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
