Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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