I smell stomach acid.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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