He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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