you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
