I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
