Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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