Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
