I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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