i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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