doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
