Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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