tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
