i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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