She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
