i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
