HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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