Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Boobs are out for the taking
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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