Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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