my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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