And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
