if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
