Christians are straight up FREAKS
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
