It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
