my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
