I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
