Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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