It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
