ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
