that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
