im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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