What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
zippers are such a cool invention
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
