i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize