if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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