You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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