I can text with my tongue
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize