I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
