Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize