I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
