Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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