This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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