I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
