dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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