I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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