And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The best revenge is premature balding
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
