the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
sarcasm needs its own font
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
