I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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