i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
